Connections That Last a Lifetime
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Office: AD-219
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Connections That last a Lifetime: Thoma College Alumni Become "Forever Friends"
“It was a small campus,” Janet said, recounting how the group met.
“I don’t think we can even remember!” Rachel joked, eliciting laughter from everyone who joined the Zoom call.
“I remember!” Kathleen interjected. “Four of us met because we were on the same floor freshman year in the dorm. Myself, Sherry, Janet, and Carol—we were all on the same floor. And I think Sherry is the one who may have met Rachel through field hockey.”
“It was field hockey for me,” said Nicki. “That’s where I met Sherry, Kathleen, and Rachel my freshman year.”
Rachel rolled her head back and laughed. “I was there for one week! The only thing I’ve ever dropped out of in my life!”
Sherry piped in after laughing with the group. “It’s been a few years. Can you tell?”
“It’s just a blessing that we all ended up together,” Rachel summarized. Everyone on the call nodded and smiled at each other with affection.
What began as college friendships formed over evenings and weekends in the Dining Hall eventually blossomed into lifelong bonds that can more accurately be described as a family. The group has gathered at least once a year for a short trip or a long weekend ever since they graduated from Thomas, usually at Sherry’s house as a convenient halfway point but sometimes at Nicki’s place on Lake Winnipesaukee. Sometimes their families join, depending on who’s available, but sometimes it’s a “girls trip.”
“I think it started when we would go to Mount Desert Island every spring during school,” Janet said. “We did that at least a couple times.”
“You’re right,” Kathleen confirmed. “Before finals, we started going up to Bar Harbor to spend a day. And us fools got into the water in May! Up to our ankles, anyway.”
“Some of my favorite memories,” Carol added, “were when we’d either kick Sherry’s parents out of their house or invite them to stay and then take over their house in Winthrop for the weekend. We just had a ball.”
Sherry nodded. “They loved that, too.”
“We did that at least once a year,” said Carol. “It was fantastic. There were others on campus who would beg us if they could come.”
After a few years of these gatherings, the group decided it was time to take a trip they’d dreamed about for years and headed to Ireland together, where Kathleen has deep roots and family.
“Kathleen and I started googling Airbnbs,” explained Sherry. “She did most of the work; I just did some of the background. But it was one of those trips that was—”
“Trip of a lifetime,” Nicki said.
“Right,” Sherry continued. “And Carol couldn’t go with us. So, we made a face of Carol on a stick and had her in all the pictures. Even to the point where people over there kept saying, ‘Oh my god, that’s amazing.’”
“They were more interested in her than in us,” Rachel quipped.
As they recount the memories they’ve shared over the years, the love and joy in the group is palpable even through a computer screen. They can barely get through a story without several pauses to allow for the full-body laughter. There was the time Barbara, Nicki, and Rachel tried to run away from view after tossing a few stones at Carol’s bedroom window on campus, only to turn the corner and smack directly into a brick wall they’d forgotten was there—a feat where the only serious injury was to their pride. Years later, there was the time that the husbands had joined a group gathering, and during a game of Pictionary, Rachel’s husband, Eric, made the mistake of suggesting the teams should be girls versus boys. Mike, Sherry’s husband, warned that it was a bad idea
.
“And we whooped ‘em,” Kathleen said, recalling how Carol simply drew a line on a piece of paper, and one of the friends immediately guessed “highway”—the correct answer.
“Mike just looked at us and shook his head,” Sherry said. “And he goes, ‘We should know better by now, guys.’”
When asked about people at Thomas who made a significant impact on them, the group turned thoughtful. Kathleen mentioned Barry Farber, the accounting and finance professor who convinced her to double major, which, she joked, she “still hasn’t forgiven him for.” Rachel agreed with Kathleen’s assessment of Barry and added her own appreciation for “Miss Deeb,” referring to Marie Deeb, Thomas’s professor of economics and accounting. Kathleen added Nelson Madore, professor of government and history to the impact list, and Carol named Joseph Bergin, professor of mathematics.
“He was out there a-ways,” Carol admitted. “But he was the one who would slap me on the back and say, ‘You got this! You can do this!’”
“You could just tell,” said Rachel. “There were the ones who really cared, and they were there for a purpose.”
Nicki joked about how she was the youngest, resulting in eye rolls and groans from the group. Then, she explained how some unexpected obstacles had prevented her from graduating with her class in 1982. While she loved being a part of the friend group, she longed to complete the degree and receive her diploma. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, she talked to her husband and decided it was time to get it done.
“I called up Thomas,” she said, “and they were fabulous. So, after 40 years,
I actually got my diploma.”
Everyone on the call beamed with pride, as Nicki continued. “You know, I am so blessed. These are some of the smartest ladies that I have ever met in my whole life. The fact that they let me—I don’t know. I got squeezed into the group. Barb and I did together.”
Carol teased her. “Well, Nicki, we’re still getting the checks for it. We just don’t know who they’re coming from now.” Everyone erupted in laughter again.
“We’ve been there for each other through all the events,” Sherry explained. “Both happy and sad.”
“We were at everybody’s wedding,” Nicki added.
“I don’t think there’s ever been one time when we’ve gotten together,” said Rachel, “that it’s not an immediate pick-up from where we left off. I know you hear that from different people, but it’s so true for us. Belonging, acceptance, and just loving.”
“It’s our safe place,” said Kathleen. “We’ve been through thick and thin together—through really, really great times and through some really challenging times. We always know we’ve got each other’s backs.”
One of those recent challenging times arose suddenly in early 2022. Nicki texted Barbara to celebrate that Barbara had only one more year of work until her planned retirement date.
“Instead of receiving a reply from her, Nicki got a phone call from Doug, Barbara’s husband, who shared the news that Barbara had recently been diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. The group immediately moved into action, first getting on a phone call to make a plan and then traveling together to visit Barbara as she entered hospice.
“And she was with us,” Nicki said, “but she never opened her eyes. The girls all brought music that we listened to when we were in school, and she sang with us, even when her eyes were closed.”
After a moment of quiet, Rachel added: “We truly feel the loss of Barb every time we get together.”
When asked what advice they would give to Thomas students today, the group reflected on the immeasurable value of the friendships that are made possible in college and can result in a lifetime of support and care. This friendship group has provided comfort during times of loss, a trusted sounding board when facing major decisions, and a network of connections when exploring new possibilities. Forty years further down life’s road, they also appreciate the value of the time and opportunities that were uniquely available in college and hope that students will avail themselves of these.
“Take advantage of everything that Thomas has to offer,” Kathleen advised. “Today, it has even more than what we had. Look at all the sports teams, the housing options, the different majors. The fact that you can get your Master’s degree in that 3+1 program. Let me tell you, if they had had that back then, I would’ve definitely done that.”
Rachel agreed. “Get out of your comfort zone if you can,” she said. “I look back on that time and think I probably could’ve done a few more things, and as Kathleen said, take advantage of what you can while it’s there.”
“Go to the dining hall, and sit with someone face-to-face and have a conversation,” added Nicki. “Look somebody in the eye and talk to them. Even for just five minutes—put that phone down. I mean, look what can happen! It’s surreal to think that we’re all in our sixties now. We’re still so close, and we’re still experiencing life together.”
Everyone smiled, and Rachel said, “I just think back to when you make that choice—those times in your life that you don’t realize just what it’s going to bring you. But that day when you decide, ‘Ok, I’m going to Thomas.’ You don’t know what lies ahead but look at us. Here we are! It just couldn’t be better, and Thomas gave us this.”
As the Zoom call neared its end, everyone said their goodbyes for now. The final sound was a repeated chorus: “Love you girls,” “love you all,” “love you.”
Looking to connect with other alumni?
The Office of Advancement and Alumni Relations holds events and hosts gatherings that help cultivate the extended Thomas community.
